This is interesting. I got into the Slutstack from your recommendation, which has taught me a lot about the allure of CNC, specifically for women. Ultimately I think there's a big gender gap here, along with too many issues to unpack in one blog post. I'll say a few things relevant to me:
1) I've never been with anyone who enjoys CNC. I think I could get involved, because obviously I would want to satisfy a partner, and they could tell me how. But only, only if that emotional connection was made beforehand. I wouldn't talk kink on a first date - I'd want to see if there's intimacy first. If someone can't enjoy sex without involving their particulars, then they're in a different category from me (and no judgement there).
2) From a fantasy perspective, as a writer (and thank you for the shout-out) I also "find the notion that someone might not actually want something deeply unsexy." That's pretty core, and it's why I write in nerdy detail about consent wavers. But there are edge cases. I think my current fanfic story might get quite borderline, but I don't think I can make it softer without spoiling the story. Hmmm.
3) We may need to talk about the fear-to-fetish pipeline. It happens to many people, but for women, is CNC a way of taking bad early experiences (of which there are horrifyingly many) and redefining them? I do not have the answers here.
yeah I agree that CNC only makes sense to me if I sense someone is deeply into it (and at the orgies there are several hurdles that women have to get over to manage to be there - vetting, an opening circle, bands signalling current CNC)
This is interesting. I got into the Slutstack from your recommendation, which has taught me a lot about the allure of CNC, specifically for women. Ultimately I think there's a big gender gap here, along with too many issues to unpack in one blog post. I'll say a few things relevant to me:
1) I've never been with anyone who enjoys CNC. I think I could get involved, because obviously I would want to satisfy a partner, and they could tell me how. But only, only if that emotional connection was made beforehand. I wouldn't talk kink on a first date - I'd want to see if there's intimacy first. If someone can't enjoy sex without involving their particulars, then they're in a different category from me (and no judgement there).
2) From a fantasy perspective, as a writer (and thank you for the shout-out) I also "find the notion that someone might not actually want something deeply unsexy." That's pretty core, and it's why I write in nerdy detail about consent wavers. But there are edge cases. I think my current fanfic story might get quite borderline, but I don't think I can make it softer without spoiling the story. Hmmm.
3) We may need to talk about the fear-to-fetish pipeline. It happens to many people, but for women, is CNC a way of taking bad early experiences (of which there are horrifyingly many) and redefining them? I do not have the answers here.
yeah I agree that CNC only makes sense to me if I sense someone is deeply into it (and at the orgies there are several hurdles that women have to get over to manage to be there - vetting, an opening circle, bands signalling current CNC)
If you're looking for good erotica/porn, I'll recommend this: https://cynthagp.substack.com/p/good-erotic-fiction-greta-christinas